


Imperfect Perfection and Excellence

by cherrytxmato



Category: BanG Dream! Girl's Band Party! (Video Game)
Genre: Angst, F/F, reassurance, roselia live!
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-10
Updated: 2020-03-10
Packaged: 2021-02-28 23:28:56
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,134
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23095615
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cherrytxmato/pseuds/cherrytxmato
Summary: hoooh boy,, gonna go on a pretty quick pppposting spree!i have finally finished!
Relationships: Imai Lisa/Minato Yukina, Shirokane Rinko/Udagawa Ako
Comments: 2
Kudos: 22





	Imperfect Perfection and Excellence

“Wow, wo wow~“  
“恐れなどないまくる術ならば”  
“Wow, wo wow~”  
“ここにある！！”

Their first live show of the song had ended at last, and it had closed on a strong, finishing sustained note from none other than Yukina Minato. The band, altogether, had finished off so strong with the remnants of serene keyboard clicks, a powerful drum closing off at last, as well as the bass and guitar settling down as the song came to a close. The audience couldn’t contain their cheers, erupting in pure enjoyment and screaming out to the beloved girls on the stage. They’ve come a long way, and they feel nothing but pride and serenity being able to share their music with the world. Altogether, they are a flower who’s bloomed so far, wilting is out of the question regardless of what comes their way. More groups of people continued to clap it up as the girls could only look out to the crowd, pure joy and pride on their faces. The performance was more than decent. It was more than good enough. They’ve come to realize that so many people appreciate their beautiful symphonies.

Yet, even with the finishing touch she added, Yukina only felt an entire cesspool of shame and hurt. Everything was nothing more than a dark cesspool of numbness and hopelessness. Feeling devoid of color and completely useless. All she could truly feel was that she was incompetent, and did absolutely nothing for the band besides scream out her sorrows. It wasn’t even anything anybody said. It wasn’t some silly comment from whatever sort of social media platform she saw. Her own mind was throwing rocks at her to catch her attention, only to rupture her self confidence. Lately, she hasn’t been able to feel that sense of pride. She hasn’t been able to finish off as strongly as she wanted to. She felt inadequate, inferior. Like no matter how hard she tried, whatever voices were crying inside of her head only defied her escaping attempts. Her mind was nothing more than a prison cell to her, an absolute cascade of sorrow that was constantly chewing her up and regurgitating her right back out. Again, and again, the cycle of her uncontrollable guilt and self loathing doesn’t end. She could only force a smile upon her face as the crowd died down before finally exiting the now dimly lit stage, curtains coming to a close as the girls waved back at those smiling, ecstatic faces one last time.

“That.. was awesome! I felt so cool just going tararatam tararatam with the drums! It was so fun!” Ako was skipping around the dressing room, dancing her happiness away, screaming it all out like no tomorrow. Everyone just seemed like they felt very good about their performance. It was more than some simple, “I did alright.” They were truly sinking in the pride, practically feeling some sense of euphoria from how well the live played out. Rinko couldn't seem to help herself, skipping along with Ako, spinning her around, the pair were just feeling great. Rinko didn’t seem super flustered or nervous, not a hint of doubt. All she could feel was that sense of pride.  
“Ako, I’m really happy I got to sing along with you,” Rinko stops for a moment to crouch down just a tad, planting a kiss on Ako’s little head. “The entire song was honestly really nice, but getting to sing with you just felt so great. I wanna thank you for that.” The pair erupted into fits of giggles and smiles, along with Sayo contributing to the noise for a moment to shred her guitar aggressively, also giggling with the girls while doing so. The triangle of bandmates continued to celebrate with each other. Yet, Lisa couldn’t help but notice Yukina’s rather offputting lack of contribution to the conversation. Yukina could definitely catch herself being stoic at times, yet this just felt.. different. Painful. Lisa could sense Yukina was just overall feeling terrible about something, and she made no hesitation to scurry over to Yukina, gently guiding her to a corner to have a quick chat.

“Yukina,” She began. “I want you to be honest when you tell me this. Do you think we did a good job?”

”The band played beautifully,” She responded. “Everyday, you all improve little by little. This was one of our best songs.” 

“How did you feel about your own performance? How do you feel about your contribution?” Yukina is forcibly biting her trembling lip, her body stiff and her fists balled as she tries to hold in her tears. She makes a conscious effort to make sure her voice doesn’t have any tint of discomfort or pain as she spoke, but it was very difficult.

“Perhaps.. I could’ve done a bit better. I felt like my vocals were rather off. I felt that compared to the rest of the band, I made it...” She couldn’t do this anymore. She had completely lost her composure, her sobs gaining the attention of the other band members. 

“Minato-san? What’s wrong?” Sayo inquired, visibly concerned. Rinko looked at the scene with sorrow painted on her face, and Ako’s hyperactive mood skyrocketed down, suddenly very somber.

”Ah,” Lisa began. “Do you guys mind exiting the dressing room for a minute? You can wait for us outside, right?”

”Imai-san, are you sure? This is really worrying,”

”Don’t worry, Rinko! I know you guys are really worried, but I think it’d be better if Yukina was just with one person for a minute. She’ll calm down, don’t worry guys!” Lisa flashed them a warm smile, and the three girls hesitantly made their depart from the dressing room. Scattered whispers were echoing as they were leaving the room. 

“I’ve never seen Yukina-san so upset.. Do you think Lisa-nee can comfort her?”

”Imai-san is rather close with her. I’m a bit worried myself. However, I’m sure it’ll be fine.”

”Did the performance overwhelm her..? I’m very worried.”

After everyone had exited the room, Yukina was practically bawling, and from there, Lisa went in and comforted Yukina, her shoulder being used as a headrest to bury her face into as she wept. Her voice was riddled with pain as she spoke.

”Lisa.. I’ve felt like nothing more than a burden on this band. Usually, I just push away these silly feelings. However, they wouldn’t go away. Lately, they’ve come back stronger, and stronger. I never found a way how to deal with them, because I thought they were just random moments and episodes. But now, it feels more frequent than ever. I feel like I let the band down completely, as if my disgusting vocals are just so out of place.. I feel terrible about myself, Lisa. I don’t deserve to be in this band, all I do is ruin everything. I don’t know why I feel so unhappy, and... I thought it was just me overreacting and over analyzing.. but whenever I try to push these feelings away, they always come back. I feel so worthless..” Lisa was at a loss for words. She had known Yukina for years, and she was aware that everyone had their down days. But she felt terrible. She knew Yukina felt off today, but she didn’t know that Yukina had felt such a way for a long time. Even if she never brought it up. she felt like it was on her to know such things. So why? Why can’t she just somehow magically fix it? It hurt so much, seeing someone so close to her feel this way. 

“H-hey,” Lisa spoke hesitantly. “I’m really sorry. I don’t know how much I can help with stuff like this, but I can assure you many things. You are far from a failure. You are far from a burden. You are the pinnacle, the star, of this band. Without one of us, but especially you, we wouldn’t have Roselia. We wouldn’t have what we have. I understand you may not be the most confident in yourself, but all I can assure you is that you are much, much better than what you say you are. If you need to take a break, that’s completely ok. The band won’t go on without you. We’ll wait for you, no matter how long it takes. If people start to worry, that’s alright. Roselia isn’t Roselia without you, and if we need to wait a while to do something new, that doesn’t matter. What matters is your health, and you as a whole. I assume you’re not seeing anyone to help with these issues, but please, try bringing it up with your father, or a counselor. Any trusted adult, I beg of you. I know you want to hide these feelings and put them off, but you can’t do it anymore. It’s dangerous. For the sake of your safety, and for this band, will you promise me that you’ll give yourself a break?”

Yukina sniffles as she responds. “Y-yeah.. I just.. I’m scared. I never told anyone about this before, it hurts. Thank you so much for listening to me.” She began to bawl out once again, blubbering out, “Lisa, please don’t hate me! I’m so sorry!”

From there, Lisa looked Yukina straight in the eyes for a minute.

She leaned in as she planted a small kiss on the top of her head. 

“Lisa..?”

”I could never hate you. Why would I hate you because of something out of your control? I know it sounds cheesy and unrealistic to you right now, but this will end. I will be with you every step of the way, and together, we can grow and show the world that we’re amazing! I don’t know if you’re ready to hear this right now, but I love you more than anything. If you were to go, if you were to just.. leave.. I wouldn’t know what to do. So please, if you need to take a break, don’t be scared to take one. I’ll make sure we don’t move without you. I promise,” 

Yukina broke out into tears once more, clinging onto who she was coming to realize was more than just a friend to her. Once a cheerful little girl who was a playmate had grown into someone so beautiful, someone so kind and caring. Yukina felt like she didn’t deserve something so close like this.

But perhaps such a close bond might ease the pain a bit as she takes the time to better herself. Her tears began to cool down a bit, her sniffles coming to a halt when she leaned in close to Lisa’s lips, returning the kiss she gave her. Her voice, still a bit shaky as she spoke, thanked Lisa.

”Thank you. I don’t want to feel this way anymore. I don’t want to run away anymore. It’s scary, but the fact that you.. you’re so willing to help.. I don’t know what I’d do without you. I feel like our friendship is-“ 

Lisa cut her off.

”We don’t have to call it a friendship anymore. We both feel much stronger than just a friendship when it comes to something like this.. Yukina, I will make sure you get through life, regardless of how difficult it is. If anyone gives you a hard time, I’ll be there. If school is difficult, I’ll be there. I will make sure you get the support you need and deserve. Yukina Minato, I love you with all of my heart. I wish the best for you. Now, should we get going?”

Yukina had completely stopped crying, a small and eager smile forming on her face. “Let’s go on with the others,” She said, taking her hand with Lisa’s.

* * *

After 4, vigorous months of hard work, Yukina had truly felt that the burden of her unhappiness that once weighed her down was gradually being lifted. Without the support from peers and family, she wouldn’t be able to make Roselia shine, continuing to do their best for the crowds.

However, there is one person that cannot go uncredited.

The very love of her life. 

Someone so close to her that only got closer when she was finally able to open up.

If Lisa weren’t there..

Was there even a chance of Yukina still being there too?

Although she still has moments where she feels down, and certainly has a few episodes, she isn’t miserable. She’s out of the place that held her in absolute agony, making it difficult for her to actually have happy moments.

She’s much better now.

She’s happier now.

Thank you, Lisa. Thank you for being so amazing, for going to hell and back to make sure things would be easy for me.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> mMmMmMm IM SORYR IF ITS KINDA BADDDS my brain feels fried but i hope i ended it well!!! it’s very difficult to write about these kinds of things sometimes, but the writing piece originally started out as a vent i guess??


End file.
